A year ago today, I was getting ready for the every fabulous Girl Next Door Show, this time to be held at my house.  I was busy rushing around, cleaning, and finishing last minute items for the show.  My sweet sister Ally was home from her mission and taking care of Levi, and they were off at Costco running some errands.


The phone rang.   It was Chad, and I quickly started asking him when he thought he would be home,  and when I paused from talking I could tell something was wrong.  I panicked…. Tell, me what is wrong!


My little sister Leah had passed away.


I screamed out, I asked if he was sure of what he was telling me,  I told him I didn’t know what to do and I fell to the floor.  I have never felt such a piercing pain, I really had no idea how to react.  He told me he was on his way to pick me up and take me to my family. Within a few minutes, Ally got home from Costco, I ran outside and told her in the driveway where we hugged and cried and cried.


After that, everything was a bit of a blur, it was time to get things done.  Leah deserved the best and most beautiful funeral ever, her children needed to be taken care of, and we all stood strong as a family to make sure Leah would be remembered as the beautiful amazing person she was.


I went with my sisters, Mom, Aunt Lisa, and Leah’s lifelong friend Katie to help dress Leah and prepare her for the viewing.  At first, I didn’t think I could make it, I couldn’t breathe or speak, but Heavenly Father helped me through and we were able to be with our Lee Lee’s body and make sure she was beautiful.  (Even though we all agreed she wouldn’t like what we dressed her in)


Oh how I miss Leah.


There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t thought of her or been reminded of her in someway.  One day snoop dog was playing on the radio which reminded me of Leah and the silly rap songs she liked and I started crying for the next hour,   then I laughed and thought, “Am I really crying because of Snoop Dog???”  I have a list of things to do from November 2011 that sits on my desk, and one of the items says, “Visit Leah.”  I can’t seem to get rid of it.


I have been with her children on countless occasions which are such a special reminder of my sister.  There laugh, smiles, eyes, and are sweet hearts are just like their Mom.


I still feel like a piece of me is missing.  The piece that shared a bunk bed with me, that listened to dominican music with me, that did crafts with me, that took care of my kids, that would give me anything or do anything for me is gone and I miss her desperately.


I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who have made it possible for me to be with my sister again.  I still hurt, I still cry, but I know that she is near and that she is busy taking care of everyone as she always has.


I love you Lee Lee Doo.

Here are the words I said at the funeral: